Originally Posted by danas
Yes, you are right that relationships change and I should simply accept that.
Its like I go about enjoying my life having fun and then some wonderful person joins me and its amazing, incredible. And I want to express my love and I want it to get deeper, and when that ends after about 30 intense days together, Im like , oh. not again
. We were hardly scratching the surface...
But Im also at a point where I want to connect with someone and have babies.
This is a deep desire, which you may or may not understand.
But for me its probably the strongest desire of my life right now.
And there is the biological clock...
Believe me, if not this, Id be much cooler.
Having babies is pretty straightforward for most people, unless you're infertile.
I can relate to what you're saying about depth though, but that's the benefit of deepening your relationship to life itself. If you see yourself as having just one relationship -- with life -- then it can always go deeper. It doesn't matter which particular human being you connect with. You don't have to do any special ice-breaking. Just continue where you left off with the next person in terms of what you'd like to talk about and discuss with life.
I realize that may sound very strange, but if you can get your head around it, it works beautifully.
For instance, last week I had meet-ups with several different people for the first time. With most of them I discussed subjective reality in some manner, but I didn't restart from scratch with each person. I simply continued to explore the aspects that interested me with each new person as if I was having a singular discussion with life, each time picking up where I left off. I found every conversation fascinating.
Whenever I meet someone for the first time, I tend to assume that our relationship is already at the maximum emotional intimacy and that we're already best friends. So there's no real need to deepen anything. I can simply tap into and enjoy the depth that I assume is already there.
As I mentioned in the recent "Inspired Relationships" article, I've only been using this mindset for part of this year, but it works amazingly well. Sometimes it takes people a few minutes to get used to my openness and pacing, but people seem to catch on quick, and everyone seems to like it. It creates a high-trust connection, so people tend to feel very comfortable and will quickly open up and talk about anything that's important to them. No need to go through lots of small talk.
So far I've only been doing this in conversations with one or two other people, but I hope to get used to doing it in larger groups too. I think it will just take more practice to get comfortable with it.
This even seems to work with romantic connections. Now that's a tough one for me to get used to, so I'm easing into that part slowly because my head is still spinning after a certain experience in this area.