Originally Posted by ZephyrusX
I was just thinking about something along these lines. Love is a funny word. Most people I know associate it with romantic attachments. They speak in terms of 'objects of love'. To be honest, the moments in my life where I felt the most love for my self and my environment had nothing to do with other people. The love was something that I generated. I was in a state where I could create beauty, curiosity, joy, compassion, connection, hope, excitement. It felt like love, but that state was something I created, it wasn't an external object that existed outside my self. I then shared my feelings with other people as they came and went, but I didn't depend upon them. Actually, the last few years of my life, I have been focussing more upon the reactions of others for my sense of self worth and I feel less happy and confused.
Yes, thats pretty beautiful and thats where I am before I fall for someone.
But when it gets deep, with me, I also feel pain when my expectations arent met. When I feel rejected. You are right that the main solution is more self love. I must work on that. more and more.