 Hardball Answer
Your mother is a grown woman. Whether she makes decisions for he own best interest according to your beliefs or not is her business. You would not want her dictating your life when you are an adult. Also you probably wouldn't appreciate her threatening you with ultimatums of "him or me".
Apologize and show her the same respect that you would like to have.
If you really love her and care about her you will spend a bit more time with her working through making her life better instead of threatening her into it.
All of this does not mean that some boundaries, particularly with the boyfriend who wants to throw fists, wouldn't be appropriate.
Good Luck |