I was just thinking about something along these lines. Love is a funny word. Most people I know associate it with romantic attachments. They speak in terms of 'objects of love'. To be honest, the moments in my life where I felt the most love for my self and my environment had nothing to do with other people. The love was something that I generated. I was in a state where I could create beauty, curiosity, joy, compassion, connection, hope, excitement. It felt like love, but that state was something I created, it wasn't an external object that existed outside my self. I then shared my feelings with other people as they came and went, but I didn't depend upon them. Actually, the last few years of my life, I have been focussing more upon the reactions of others for my sense of self worth and I feel less happy and confused.
Originally Posted by taylor
"He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes." - Buddha
People confuse sentimental attachment with love. Attachments are needy but love is giving. When attachments are taken from you they hurt.
If you need someone else to "complete you" or make you happy, then when they leave you will feel great pain. You have to learn how to be a happy person in general to be okay with people coming and going in your life. Happy people tend to do better in relationships long term as well.