Angela, thanks for that. I prefer to clearly understand (as much as I can) what someone else is saying before I reply. I think I pretty much agree with you on all points and yet I still don't think I would want to be in a relationship that was not monogomous, definitely not one that was thought to be but in fact wasn't.
I guess the challenge for most people is finding someone that shares the same view on relationships that they do. I think a lot of the problems stem from people denying or trying to "correct" (based on some societal expectation with which they do not agree) their beliefs about relationships. For instance, if openeyes and his partner agree to an open relationship, good. If Matthew and his wife are both strong believers in monogomy, good. If someone feels better being a serial monogomist and finds several partners over the course of their life who find that agreeable, good.
I am concluding for myself that I don't think any way is wrong, but that partners in a relationship should simply communicate and be on the same page. Then everyone can enjoy a relationship that works for them.
Ideally, for me, I would like a relationship based on mutual respect, love and commitment where both partners are dedicated to mutual growth. And where each is encouraged to pursue solitary pursuits or those with friends in order to create space for the relationship to remain exciting. Communication would be paramount as would honesty. Humor would be a running theme. For me, it would also be monogomous.
Without that last sentence, it's probably what most people are looking for?
|