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Originally Posted by jonesanizer  Also, on the subject of smiling ... I smile ALOT, and I'm shy, and I can also get pretty unhappy at times (then I identify it, and force a state change) I smile when I'm nervous and when I see people around. Whats going on on the outside is not always representative of whats going on on the inside. |
I get what you mean. Maybe i should change it a bit; instead of just "not smiling often when interacting" as representing a low status person, i should change it to "not
genuinely smiling when interacting".
If you're shy and smile a lot, you're trying to get people's approval by meaning that you're no harm to them. Often displaying "not genuine smiles" will, IMO, make people lose the respect for you.
How to distinguish a smile from a genuine smile? There are some ways, like:
1. If the person contracts one's eyelids while smiling, or in other words, the person "smiles with the eyes" while also smiling with the mouth, thats a sign of genuine smile.
2. A genuine smile is often shown when the person is feeling comfortable. So if you're shy, and you smile and at the same interaction you display signs that you're uncomfortable, the other person will probably unconsciously realize that your smile wasn't genuine, it was just to get the person's approval.
3. Rapid, upfront smiles are often seen as not genuine. Genuine smiles are often more slow, like your mouth is turning into a smile more slowly, it takes some seconds, instead of an upfront smile that takes less than a second, which is more likely to be considered not genuine. I hope you got the point, because i cant think of abetter way to explain it.
Here are the points i remember now, later i might remember some more.
Edit: Just remembered one more thing; some people try to look "tuff" because they're afraid that if they smile it will seem like a sign of insecurity, because smiling can be a two edged sword; if you're not congruent with your smile and act comfortably, you will look like you're displaying a sign of insecurity, you're seeking approval. So the people who try to look "tuff" don't want to take that risk because they're afraid of not acting congruently if they smile.