My 2 cents - having recently survived an affair:
A happy marriage is not a myth. I know a few truly happily married couples - but not many. Thankfully Jonathan and I are one of them.
A happy marriage does require 2 happy people - 2 people who take responsibility for their own happiness. When we realize it's up to us to be happy and quit relying on someone else to make us happy, or quit trying to make others happy - then we can happily coexist.
Look at any happy marriage and i bet you'll see 2 people who are happy with themselves.
Sometimes it takes an affair to teach us how to do that. I certainly had to learn the hard way. But I learned the lesson. I am responsible for my happiness, and most importantly, am not responsible for my husband's. Just that realization has been more powerful to me than anything else I have learned through the process.
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