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Originally Posted by jonesanizer  I can identify with some of the characteristics of the opening post and I have to say that this whole issue is alot more complicated than its made out to be. (Also, some of the points raised are actually contradictuory.) I have some very good friends and to be honest if we started treating each other like this then I wouldnt have picked them as friends to begin with. You dont just dump friends when they've outlived thier usefulness - in evlating you to some higher plane.
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is everyone is different, some people want to change, to pull themselves up and create a better life for themselves ... cutting them off is a selfish thing to do. Why not try and point them in a different direction?
Also, on the subject of smiling ... I smile ALOT, and I'm shy, and I can also get pretty unhappy at times (then I identify it, and force a state change) I smile when I'm nervous and when I see people around. Whats going on on the outside is not always representative of whats going on on the inside. |
^my girlfriend is the same way- i think although being shy could be defined as being uncomfortable with people- the term 'uncomfortable with people' is a much more broad and different idea, at least the way i consider it. i'm uncomfortable with people a lot of the time, but i'm actually quite outspoken. no smiles here.
it is a much more complicated topic than it's presented here. someone who seems "low status" could be that way for a 1,000,001 reasons. sort of uncaring, unbecoming, selfish, etc to just give them all the same red sticker and throw them out the window without making individual considerations. maybe some of them can't be helped- then again, maybe some can. we can't help ourselves if we can't help eachother, no matter how hard it is. to form a bold opinion like the one this topic seems to illustrate on the consensus that you've had a number of bad experiences in the past is a little selfish in some ways if you ask me (afterall- everyone is different). Which, i don't believe selfishness- and not helping other people just because you're afraid they'll pull you down- is so much more a desirable trait than depression or low self-esteem.