Everyone - It seems that we start trading our authenticity from age 0-5 when we learn that it's more important to take on survival and success strategies than to be ourselves, that it's more important to be externally-validating than internally-validating.
What helps us track ourselves to see if we are holding these character strategies?
- Watch and see if you have a certain "role" that you have to be that cannot change. Many of us get stuck in our need to be right about ourselves, and find ourselves playing out a particular role (i.e. tough guy, victim, rebel) that we want to personify. Let yourself move beyond one role and relate to all of them.
- Start watching the connection between your thoughts, emotions and body posture. When you hold a certain posture (i.e. hunched over), it is easier to hold certain thoughts/emotions (i.e. "I feel defeated). Start consciously exploring the body-mind connection (ie. If I straighten up, how do I feel? If I let myself feel confident, what is my posture?)
- Watch your boundaries as an extension of being able to ask for what you want. Do you say yes to everyone when you want to say no? Can you ask for support from others and look vulnerable? Do you feel overwhelmed when you're around other people? Boundaries are used for a sense of containment, protection and screening. Watch your physical, energetic and verbal boundaries.
- Track your arousal level and remember to stay out of trauma. If a situation happens where you get traumatized and you can't think straight, it's because your consciousness just went from the frontal lobe to the primal/reptilian brain. That brain is all about movement, not thinking. So let yourself shake, or feel or feet firmly on the ground, stretch out to get bigger physically, or even push against something like a wall/tree. You might then slowly feel more grounded and start thinking again.
- Regression - Watch when something happens to see if you're regressing to a younger age - in words, posture, actions, etc. Slow down your reaction/response so that you give yourself time to get present (like doing some of the trauma grounding techniques I just described) so that you're in an Adult consciousness.
More to come later!