Quote:
Originally Posted by Plato  I'd particularly like to know how to remove any feelings of guilt for doing what *I* want. |
Guilt is the deeply ingrained fear of retaliation and consequent loss.
How do you remove guilt?
- Avoid situations that could trigger retaliation
- Avoid attachments to things that can be lost
- Understand the essence of retaliation
The last item is practical and surprisingly potent. Why do others retaliate? Because you're not doing what they want. Think about the implications of that. You're not doing what
they want. So? Who do they think they are? What are their motives?
Enlightened people rarely retaliate. They take measured action to prevent you from making a bigger mess. Or they simply move along. There is little to fear.
Unenlightened people
do retaliate, but they command no moral high ground, so you can stop beating yourself up. Be wary of pretenders who invoke the cross, or the flag, or the community, or saving the children, in order to legitimize their self-serving demands.
At the risk of sounding sexist, the archetypal example is perhaps the woman who accuses you of being a selfish jerk because she doesn't want to share you with another woman. If
she doesn't want to share, that's cool, but it hardly makes
you selfish!
Another classic example is the person who serves their own spiritual greed and community standing by stealing your money and freedom in the name of the children. If you don't give up your freedom and money you're a
horrible person!
If these people are angry or retaliatory it is because they would personally benefit, but they have failed to control you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plato It all stems from a deeprooted feeling of unworthiness I think. |
It stems from fear of loss. People often fear losing:
- Health
- Toys
- Reputation (bedroom privileges
)
- Participation in social games (bedroom privileges
)
- Access to community resources (bedroom privileges
)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plato How can I get rid of that? Will it naturally fade over time by polarising more strongly? |
Guilt will disappear the instant you understand. Guilt will reappear the instant you forget what you have understood.
If you cannot continuously manifest understanding, you will alternate between guilt and serenity in pathological fashion.