Heya, Maxie. What I meant was, you can change what you are observing (e.g., observe something else) or you can change what you are observing (e.g., actually transform the thing you are observing, by changing the way you observe it). What a fun menu to choose from!
Annah, I think you are probably still in the midst of the shock and pain of what has happened to you. But you have expressed real contempt for the man you were with, contempt that seems to predate your split. Contempt in a relationship is a pretty good indicator that something is really not working -- in fact, in his book 'Blink', Malcolm Gladwell talks about how contempt is the most reliable indicator of impending divorce. You're really angry with the guy, but can you not see how you are part of this dance? You've got to do what's best for your future, of course; I'd like to invite you to find the power you'll have by claiming responsibility for what's happened in your life. Maybe you're feeling like a victim right now, but you're not really a victim, are you?
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