I think that anyone who stays with another out of pity or obligation is not doing them or themselves a favor. If I knew my husband didn't love me as much as I loved him I would release him out of love, anything else would be selfishness on my part.
idave, like Lychee, I don't understand why you would stay with a woman for 30 years if you didn't love her deeply. Maybe you love her more than you realize.
Your old flame is probably more of a fantasy than reality because you've never been tested by the good, bad and ugly times that all real relationships are challenged with. You revere her in a romantic capacity. Of course she seems more glamorous to you than your wife does. My guess is that if you spent any length of time with her you would find her all too human. Most of us would be hard pressed to live up to an idea version of ourselves created in a admirer's mind. The reality of everyday living and challenges puts us all in a different light. I would tread very carefully before I made any life-altering decisions.
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