Pillsbury Doughboy Dies at 71
Betty Crocker announced today that "it is with the saddest heart that we pass along the following news.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection. He was 71. Doughboy is survived by his wife Playdough and two children, John Dough and Jane Dough (who also has a bun in the oven). He was cremated in a lightly greased oven.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, the Hostess Twinkies and Cap'n Crunch. The grave site was piled high wth flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Mr. Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was unfortunately filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, preferring to waste his life on half-baked schemes instead.
For this he was often accused of being a bit flakey. Yet others thought he could be a bit crusty, but his defenders thought he was the perfect roll-model.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Please join me in remembering a great pillow of the community."
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