I will try to reply to each:
@ torilink - I completely see what you mean and do agree that I should not judge myself or my mother for our natural exhuberance. However, in myself at least I find that the way I have been acting precludes real communication. I will accept myself for who I am, but I also want to improve. I should state that it's not just other people's opinions of me that have caused me to feel this way. I see them as a mirror, showing me things that I may have ignored otherwise. I do not mean that I should bite my tongue or walk on eggshells, merely that I should be more present in conversation. I am judging too harshly and I will remember what you said about my focus. It's true I am perpetuating it. Thank you!
@ carenkh - I will look for that information. You've kind of hit something that I think is very relevant and important...the storm inside kind of thing. I do have a lot going on inside which I would like to be at peace with and make quiet. A step in the right direction...thank you!
@ Iff - Taking pauses should have a good effect since it will give me time to respond rather than react and leave space for silence or for someone else to get a word in edgewise. Thank you!
And last but never least, @ Z - Z, my old friend, you have seen the crazy girl. She's the one I want to calm down a little. I thank you for your kindness (I never expect anything less) and I will try not to be so hard on myself. You are very sweet to me. Thank you!
I have had the opportunity to practice a little silence when I would have otherwise ranted or babbled or etc. and it's been eye opening. The things you notice when you aren't talking....
Thanks again to everyone.
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