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raskolnikov · 06-02-2011, 12:31 AM

Hi,

I'm new to the forum, however, I've been reading the blog for a few years, so I'm only new to posting, not to reading.

This is perhaps sort of an arbitrary post to comment on, but one question for the author (and readers); do you ever think you might be overanalyzing things?

This is in no way meant in a sarcastic way. I am very much for thinking about how to live and I am a quite open person. However, I'm at the moment single and therefore naturally thinking a lot about relationships. I'm 29 now and have had girlfriends since I was 17 or 18. I've been living abroad for the last couple years and find myself in a difficult situation meeting girls I like, because of cultural differences.

So, as most other people living abroad, I compare my life to my friends' lives at home. And I've come to realize that (at least in my social circle) the happiest people are the ones that (seem to) think the least about personal growth. This isn't true for other areas such as health or work, but certainly for relationships.

I have myself been hesitant to marry or get kids because I want a stable career first. I'm self employed and in my case that means no pay, high risk of going broke, big goals and little time for anything besides trying to reach them.

Then I see my friends who got married when they were in their mid 20s. Many of them picked girls where I at the time thought whew, glad that's not me getting into that, but now they have villas, grill parties, play with the kids and develop in areas that I didn't even come to yet. Sure they have their own problems, but they at least have someone close. I still live in an apartment and get drunk with other single guys on weekends.

I see that a lot of people I know who just went with the flow and relationship-wise picked a non-perfect path being happy and content now while I'm still considering for and against getting serious with this or that girl. As opposed to just thinking 'OK, this is what we have, let's make the best of it'. This makes me think that perhaps nothing won't ever be perfect and that building on an imperfect base might be better that twisting your mind around lifestyle design to the point where none of the 'traditional' ways of interacting with people are enough?

In other words - concerning relationships, are 'stupid' people smarter than smart people? Is improving on the imperfect better than waiting for the perfect? Does all this abstraction and conscious choice pay off in the end?

Any thoughts on this?

Cheers

PS. Thumbs up to you Steve, for your inspiring blog.

06-02-2011, 12:31 AM	#7 (permalink)
raskolnikov Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 2	inspired relationships Hi, I'm new to the forum, however, I've been reading the blog for a few years, so I'm only new to posting, not to reading. This is perhaps sort of an arbitrary post to comment on, but one question for the author (and readers); do you ever think you might be overanalyzing things? This is in no way meant in a sarcastic way. I am very much for thinking about how to live and I am a quite open person. However, I'm at the moment single and therefore naturally thinking a lot about relationships. I'm 29 now and have had girlfriends since I was 17 or 18. I've been living abroad for the last couple years and find myself in a difficult situation meeting girls I like, because of cultural differences. So, as most other people living abroad, I compare my life to my friends' lives at home. And I've come to realize that (at least in my social circle) the happiest people are the ones that (seem to) think the least about personal growth. This isn't true for other areas such as health or work, but certainly for relationships. I have myself been hesitant to marry or get kids because I want a stable career first. I'm self employed and in my case that means no pay, high risk of going broke, big goals and little time for anything besides trying to reach them. Then I see my friends who got married when they were in their mid 20s. Many of them picked girls where I at the time thought whew, glad that's not me getting into that, but now they have villas, grill parties, play with the kids and develop in areas that I didn't even come to yet. Sure they have their own problems, but they at least have someone close. I still live in an apartment and get drunk with other single guys on weekends. I see that a lot of people I know who just went with the flow and relationship-wise picked a non-perfect path being happy and content now while I'm still considering for and against getting serious with this or that girl. As opposed to just thinking 'OK, this is what we have, let's make the best of it'. This makes me think that perhaps nothing won't ever be perfect and that building on an imperfect base might be better that twisting your mind around lifestyle design to the point where none of the 'traditional' ways of interacting with people are enough? In other words - concerning relationships, are 'stupid' people smarter than smart people? Is improving on the imperfect better than waiting for the perfect? Does all this abstraction and conscious choice pay off in the end? Any thoughts on this? Cheers PS. Thumbs up to you Steve, for your inspiring blog.