[unique]

Originally posted by Medaille
When you make friends, make an effort to share yourself on a more intimate level. What are the stories of your past that helped shape who you are today. Share your vulnerabilities and weaknesses, but in a way that doesn't lean on them or expect anything of them. Share your dreams and goals no matter how unachievable they seem. Make an effort to share the real and genuine you, and don't put on a mask like most people do. Most people don't have much practice being intimate, so don't expect them to open up right away but be persistent.

thanks medaille.this has been my problem so far.finding friends to whom i can open up.sharing my problems has been the biggest problem.would always make me feel vulnerable.i have myself experienced some bad friendships.i wouldn't call them bad,but just that our wavelengths didn't match.

yes,today i am finally making progress to show the real me.even though sometimes i do feel vulnerable.i put on a mask only to avoid getting hurt.but that didn't let my friends share their deepest problems with me.but this is also true that i made an effort to encourage them to talk to me about their prob.no matter how insignificant it was.but today,i am glad i didn't open up and show the real me to some only coz i would have ended up feeling more hurt.

Originally posted by zhereford.
Learn to be your own best friend first. Develop the qualities in yourself that you would want from a true, long lasting friend. Until you are comfortable with and true to who you are, you can't expect someone else to supply that for you. Be the friend to yourself that you want from others.

thanks zhereford.i agree with you.that's what i have tried to be all these years.a true friend.who would be there without even them having to ask for it.this is something i want to be.and that is why i made an effort to understand them and their problems just like my own.i also tried my best to be self-reliant,only coz i wanted to understand myself better even before committing to others.

Originally posted by love
My question:
Do your friends know exactly what staying in contact means to you? In that, ok, staying in contact means you need get an e-mail once a week, or a phone call once a month, etc. Do they know your specifics?

hey love,thanks for your advice.hmmm,i really don't want to have a friendship laid down with conditions.lovingly i always tell them to keep in touch with me on a regular basis.i never set up criteria as to when they should call or email me.but it came to a point where i would be the only one who would be sharing via email or through phone calls.according to them since i moved away,only i could have some new things to share.even replying back to those emails became a difficult thing.to some extent i do understand,when anyone says they are busy or they forget at times.i think they have become used to the fact that i would continue doing this no matter what.whether they reply or not.now,i don't believe in the fact "out of sight,out of mind."

even i am human,even i have the need to feel cared and loved.or should i stop expecting all these.i really have invested a lot of my emotions and precious time in building these relations.and seeing them go down,is doing no good to me.but this also true they are all wonderful people with whom i have shared some wonderful moments.and now,i am wondering whether people's role in our life is limited?is it time to move on?

as far as meeting new people.i am trying my best.i always do.i am not going to give up so easily on the fact that meeting one person who would respond to my emotions like their own is impossible.i believe "anything is possible."

thanks everyone for your wonderful advices.have a good day