Andrew, I have the same kinds of issues as you, in fact, it's so bad sometimes I don't bother asking someone to do something just because I'm afraid they'll say no. Or they'll say yes, and then don't show up or change their minds at the last minute, which hurts even more.
In the short term, I find it helps to have alternatives/substitutes. If friend x doesn't want to do something, maybe friend y does. Or friend y might want to do something else, which would still be fun.
I've also found reading Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" to be quite helpful.
As an example, I love hiking, and there's one friend who I always want to go with, but he's often non-commital, or he'll say yes and then change his mind a couple days before we go. I would have gone with another friend, but I happened to really like going with this friend. The best alternative I could find was going out with the outdoor club in my city, where strangers meet up in a parking lot, and head out to the mountains and hike. That way, I can meet other people who might make good hiking partners.
I'd say it's all a matter of remaining flexible, and if too many friends turn you down all the time, then maybe it's time to expand your social network, knowing that it may take time but it's worth it.  |