Hello and welcome aboard limbogirl...
Very sad to hear about your plight... I will probably come back to this thread later... but all that I could say that could help you is being said so much more eloquently in: "
TED Talks Dan Gilbert: Why are we happy? Why aren't we happy?"
I invite you strongly to view it... it's free and last 20 minutes... but it could change your life...
My very best wishes...
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