I had a similar experience, Ilya, in the vein of emotive response; the situation itself was very different but I remember feeling the most alive but also the most dead then.
She was my best friends girlfriend and we had started dating before they broke up (a year before they broke up, yuck) - god damn was I addicted to her, it was such a masochistic situation too. I learned alot from that one...
A) Bros before hos
B) The woman has to be single!
C) Never rely on someone to make you feel good
I still have not had a real relationship since that one (I ended it a year ago, it was 3 years running, I am 20 right now); I had tried leaving her 7 times before but it never followed through - somehow she and I always got back together (I moved 3 times, too!).
Goofy thing is, now I can't really seem to focus on the 'deep' aspect of women - I have a hard time not objectifying them and treating them like 'countries to be conquered'. I am 20 anywho, that stuff should wait till I have settled down... but I do miss the bond she and I had.
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