[Ilya]

Originally Posted by JohnPlace

Here I must make the distinction between the first person I truly loved and the first person I thought I loved.

I don't think it is possible to misinterpret love. First love is indeed immature and hard to comprehend, but it can't be mistaken for anything, IMO.
I thought by the person you thought you loved, you meant kindergarden girl, you told everyone about and promised to marry. I did something like that. I even kissed her on the cheek! Well, I was very bold then , but that probably wasn't love.

When I was young, before I learned that true love involves more than warm and fuzzy feelings, I felt all the things you'd expect. Ultimately, I felt a lot of pain and heartache, because that wasn't love, my friends. It was hormones and confusion.

Ouch. You sound very dismissive here. Reminds me of denial.
Tell me what else should be there except warm and fuzzy feelings?

In my experience, it is exactly a lot of pain and heartache. I was socially hopeless and when I saw her, I immediately decided that I will never tell her of my feelings. I kept this promise to myself for 5 years, got myself depressed, my parents placed me with psychiatrist, he happily prescribed me Prozak. It seemed then that the only reason I didn't kill myself, was the need to walk and care for my dog.

Now, hormones, did contribute to the problem, no doubt. But it would be insulting to myself to deny that it was true feelings. It was painful, but that was the love and that was the third best period of my life. I was extremely alive then.