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Originally Posted by Chet  The best relationships are those that make both of you grow. |
I agree with this. It's awesome when two people both always have something to learn from the other. For instance, i'm overly outspoken and opinionative. My girlfriend is shy and timid. Together we make a nice equilibrium as a couple as we're both accepting of the other persons views and values.
In my opinion, what makes long lasting relationships so difficult is the fact that people change over time. It can be hard to prevent two people from changing in ways that they will eventually be less comfortable with eachother in one way or another. As a matter of fact, it may well be impossible to do- but perhaps just realizing this fact can help prevent it.
The first step in any relationships is probably a mixture of respect and obviously interest. If you both give eachother plenty of both, and continue to, you should be well on your way to a good relationship.
A nice trick i read about via the internet, which has worked for myself and i think would in most occasions for most people is to give eachother each a day. For instance, this weekend Saturday will be my day, and Sunday will be her day (days should be weekly to be most effective). So, this Saturday, we get to do anything and everything i want to do. Sunday, we do anything and everything she wants to do. We personally switch every weekend since there's obviously more to do on Saturdays than Sundays. This is a great trick, it makes it so nobody gets pure dominence over the relationship and both parties get to do the things they enjoy with the other. This is definitely something for months and months into a relationships i'd say though.
As far as how fast/slow to go. Observe how quickly your mate wants to go, and how fast you're comfortable going. Try to find a nice medium. As a guy however, i can't suggest enough using the tactic "leave her wanting more when you say goodbye." Give her a taste now and then perhaps, but then deny her for the whole next week so long as she doesn't start to believe you've become disinterested in her.
I chew tobacco from time to time, own guns, and am completely unpopular; as well as a computer nerd. If i can get a girl to be infatuated with me for a long period, you can too.
