Hi Annah,
First thing in quieting the mind, is to accept all thoughts in their entirety and accepting them to be just that. Don't label them as being good/bad, negative/positive, etc. They are just thoughts, energy. I know it is difficult, but once you stop labeling them, you will get some relief.
One thing I found to be the "most difficult" thing to do was to replace the so called "negative" thoughts with so called "positive" ones. It does not quiet the mind, but only replaces one form of thought with another. And, it actually becomes very painful. Remember this technique still entails labeling the thoughts.
Also, do not try to control thoughts. There is a story that goes like this. There was a sign in front of a Buddhist meditation room, "Do not think of Pink Elephants while meditating." This was a kind of a test. The beginning meditators would read that and say to themselves, "I should not think of Pink Elephants." They sit for meditation. They keep getting thoughts of Pink Elephants. The more they try to push them away, the stronger they become, eventually they start seeing Pink elephants dancing around their heads.
So, do not push them away. Instead you could one or both of the following techniques:
(1) Watch your breath as it goes in and out, in its own natural rhythm. Do not force it. Just observe the way the breath moves through you. Be a watcher/witness of the breath. If you like you can add the following mental chant, "sO ham" (O as in the English word "So," ham as in "hummm"). You mentally say, "sO" as the breath goes in on its own accord and mentally say, "hummm" as the breath goes out on its own accord. "sO ham" means "That I am." This is also Pranayama (Breathing or Breath control) technique. If you get distracted with thoughts, don't worry. Just bring your attention back to breath. You can do this for 5 mins or so. As many times as you like.
(2) After the above technique, you can add 1 to 5 mins of the following technique: Watching your thoughts. Let go of the "sO ham" chant and now just watch the thoughts as they come and go. Like luggage on a conveyor belt. However, none of that luggage is yours. You are just watching the thoughts as they go by. You are not even focusing on your breath. You are not focusing on any of those thoughts. This is a technique called, "nEti, nEti," (I am not that, I am not that). As the thoughts come you could say, "I am not this thought, just let go." Just relax into it. This is a very difficult technique to do, though it sounds easy. You can start with one or two minutes and then build up.
These techniques will help you become detached to the random thoughts you get and use only the thoughts you want to use.
Thanks,
- Desika
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