Summerbreeze - You are exactly right! Shifting our response changes our outcome and changes our circumstances. So if we want to change our lives, we don't try to control our external circumstances (which can be really tiring) as much as shift our response.
Changing a pattern of behavior can be relatively easy, but shifting core beliefs can be tough. Please everyone, enlist the help of someone and don't try to do this alone if you're going through a tough time. And there are all kinds of people on this forum who are offering help of all sorts.