A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements.
He told her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your nipples and say, 'Scooby dooby dooby, I want bigger boobies.'"
She did this every day faithfully. After several months, it worked! She grew great boobs!
One morning she was running late, and in her rush to leave for work, she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.
At this point she loved her boobs and didn't want to lose them, so she got up in the middle of the bus and said, "Scooby dooby dooby, I want bigger boobies."
A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?"
"Why yes, I do. How did you know?"
The man stood up and cupped his balls and said, "Hickory dickory dock..."
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A little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club. One day she goes up and knocks on the door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She proclaims, "I want to join your club."
The guy was amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join. The biker asks, "Do you have a motorcycle?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep... my bike's parked over there", and points to a Harley in the driveway.
The biker asks, "Do you drink?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep... drink like a fish. I'll drink any man in your club under the table."
The biker asks, "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep... smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I'm shooting pool."
The biker is very impressed and asks, "Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope ... but I've been swung around by my nipples a time or two."
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