My current favorite porn star (discussed in another thread) has a history I think would be worth hearing.
Simply put, when starting college, she needed more money and went into modeling. Her agent was a sleaze, as she put it, and told her that everyone went through pornography in order to move up. As she says, sounds stupid, but she believed him. Currently, however, she continues to do pornography because she enjoys it and enjoys the people she works with. Her parents are still unaware of it, according to her. Her stage name is Evelyn Lin.
I want to point out two takeaways from this story:
1) She didn't wake up one day and say, "I want to be a porn star." There were circumstances that set her up to enter that position.
2) She isn't staying out of coercion. Many of us search for a job where we can do what we enjoy. As it happens, most people enjoy sex. Pornography is certainly preferable to prostitution: it's a controlled environment with screened "male talent", as they seem to call it.
And, it's also noted that pornography isn't her goal in life; Evelyn has every intention of completing her college degree and joining a PR firm and doing something else she loves. She still seems a bit naive (giving out all this information; I have located ample personal information on her that shouldn't be accessible at all), but there was nothing wrong with her upbringing.
My advice has been stated already, but I might as well give what I can:
If it hurts you, confront her about it. And by a confrontation, I mean to ask her to set aside some time during her stay at home to talk to you. An hour or three should be sufficient. Prepare her by letting her know that the topic to be discussed is important to you. Then try to forget about it until then. This will give her a chance to realize that you know and to let her think about it first.
Let her guide the conversation, and watch where it goes. Chances are, if
she has a problem, she will guide you there, and you can help her. If she doesn't have a problem, then it will probably stay rather placid, and you can move the conversation to explaining why you're hurt by seeing her doing pornography.
Last notes:
Sexual orientation isn't binary. You don't switch it on and off like a lightswitch. Lesbians love to claim that they can turn a girl on in ways that a man can't even imagine. (A claim which I think is bogus.) This is hardly exclusive to other lesbians.
As Brutha noted, she seems to have reasonable judgement. A 40-grand car is quite something, but it wasn't drugs. She has maintained a solid work/life balance, if her grades are so high, and sex is a remarkably effective way to let off steam... and pornography gives you money for it.
Porn stars are capable of negotiating contracts. Porn Star Carli Banks refuses to do straight scenes because her boyfriend is disturbed by the thought: she exclusively performs masturbation and lesbian. If your daughter has managed to do a similar contract, she may actually still be a virgin.
A possible reason she's doing this is as a way to become financially independent. As a recent college graduate myself (with no hope as a porn star, I might add), I can tell you that I have chafed under my dependency on my parents for money in everything.
Reputable porn studios (an oxymoron, I know) are meticulous about safety. The men in porn films are hired, professional actors: if you see enough films, you'll see them recur. Their stage names are listed, and many of them have their own websites. Peter North, for instance, is a famous one. The point is that they have every reason to make certain that the sex is safe, because it is foolish to damage (via impregnation or infection) the very talent they depend on. A quick survey of most straight scenes with the right eye will notice that there are very, very few cases where ejaculation happens inside: they almost always pull out.
Your daughter sounds like a bright girl. She's enjoying herself, doing well in school, and leveraging her attractiveness to make more money than most people ever do. In your position, the only criticism I would have is that she's blowing money a bit loosely; BMWs are not
that great. But I come from a well-off family, so it's hard for me to take wealth seriously.
P.S. It raised a red flag for spam with me, too, especially with the low post count, but I think it's fine, which is why I wrote a post.
