(I'm still wondering if you're a troll. Your post doesn't sit right. Something's not accurate.)
Anyhoo. Your love for your daughter is very conditional. Do you see that? You want to blame her for betraying you. How did she betray you? By becoming a porn star or not telling you she was a porn star?
I thought we were best friends, and perhaps that's why I feel so betrayed.
What are the conditions for you to be best friends? List them. These are your conditions on loving your daughter (and yourself).
What is she to you now? Tainted? Damaged? Immoral?
Why is her being a virgin so important to you? What other expectations have you placed upon her? Expectations are about the future and are bound to disappoint you.
This is a big wakeup point for you and your consciousness. Sorry it is so painful for you. This is really all about you, but I know, you want to make it about her and her choices. If you make it about your daughter you won't get anywhere, and might harm the relationship you have with her.
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