[Asmoday]

Well, the first step in healing is always self-forgiveness...

And, I'm just making a suggestion here, a suggestion. I don't know you or her, but....

Its true that every action produces an equal and opposite reaction.

Understanding why, and any part you had in it, will really, really help with any dialouge you have.

In short, even though its tough, until you accept truth, you cannot know her perspective. Until you understand her perspective, you'll be talking TO her not WITH her.

I'm only saying all this because I have seen exactly this before -- and almost always, the defensive reaction causes parents to loose children, and I'm sure that is not what you want.