[Midwinter Mist]

I was waking up in my dream, unaware it was a dream. Then, I felt my dream body paralyzing, immediately feeling fuzzy and heavy, and I wondered if by accident I was astral projecting for the first time. However, I was struggling to breathe. I didn't feel good, and I considered the possibility that I was being violated by this throbbing, negative energy. It seemed ridiculous, but what would evil care?

I started to call upon angels and imagine white light, but it wasn't helping. I managed to clap my hands and snap out of all of it, but dream-tiredness dragged me back down into it, my eyes closing to the darkness, the weight holding me down.

I remembered a topic I saw on here, in which somebody felt terrified by accidental astral projection.

However, this time, I managed to shift away the negativity and rid the feeling of 'violation'. It was still hard to breathe, but I wondered if that was just the paralyzed body breathing on a very low scale during rest. I was trying to move my astral body, but ended up shaking my head to stop, but once again I was pulled down through a feeling of tiredness and again it went on.

I started trying techniques to project, but it was difficult. I kept trying to open my eyes but I could only open them to a blur, as they kept closing to tiredness. At one point, I managed to open them briefly to the wall-side of my room, which was up-to-date (whereas usually my dreams show older versions of my room). Though, on the wall by my head was some sort of symbol marked into the wall. I can’t really describe it, but I wondered if it had been attached to my head in some way.

Eventually, I came away from being unable to project and emerged into a lucid dream. My room had now changed. One downside was that my awareness was mild, so despite I knew I was dreaming, I still shrugged a lot of things off as being normal.

I started to play about with the curtains. It was the night, and I didn't want people seeing through the windows, so I kept thinking of colours and then rolling down these curtains, one after another. Then, it came back to me - my lucid dream priority. I want to meet my guide. So, I jumped through the window, but by this point I was being pulled back and forth between being lucid and simply dreaming. I ended up in another dream, logging on to these very forums to talk about it.

Eventually, I was mildly lucid again. I was outside at the location in which I've always planned to meet the guide/s, but I was distracted by noises. I was floating above my house, which appeared to be a mansion now, and I stopped time and created silence. Great, but then, quite like an independent agent, somebody was defying it. I heard a tapping sound on glass, then looked down to see a man in a white suit. He sort of looked like a business man, and had a bag of letters like a mailman. He gave me a letter, calling it a reminder, which I unfolded and boy was it long! This paper just kept on going and content was written on every page. While going through it, I actually saw an address and told myself that I should visit that address in a dream, knowing it could prove an interesting ordeal.

Anyway, I got to this point in the letter where it said:

Dear Reminder,

- and then there was a lot of stuff that I didn't even try to read, sadly. If I were lucid enough, I would have investigated it. And, then, sadly, I was pulling away from that dream and soon woke up.