Quote:
Originally Posted by justin  Has anyone else been in a similar situation, and if so, how did you handle it? |
One of the most difficult things for my family to grasp is that I am not an "ill person" anymore. I was very sick, with multiple autoimmune problems -- ulcerative colitis, type 1 diabetes, lung disease, liver disease, hemolytic anemia, loss of hearing at 20 -- but I'm not anymore. They still treat me like I'm made of glass, which (naturally) pisses me off.
One of the things I have to do, consistantly, is say (loudly), "I'm not weak and sick" when my family tries to do things for me, i.e. carrying my luggage or whatnot. Then I follow through by taking over the things they've tried to hijack.
Keep in mind, they do this because they
love me and want to
protect me. The trouble is getting them to see that I cannot grow stronger if I am denied the opportunity to exercise my new strength.
I can't hold it against them, their intentions are very pure. And the things they do are born out of habit; I'm trying to help them break a habit that has become non-useful for all of us.
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Speculation:
With your gf, she sees you behaving differently than you have in the past, and because she
loves you (I hope) and wishes to
protect you
and the relationship, she is interpreting or percieving the change in behavior as "bad."
You cannot do much to change her behavior, other than to communicate with her so that
she can change her own behavior (if she sees fit), so let's concentrate on
you for right now.
My questions to you are:
*Are you putting out "something's wrong" vibes before, after, or during the times you make big changes?
*Are you
openly discussing what's going in your head with your gf before, during, and after these changes occur? Do you have generally open disscussion about everything, or do you avoid some topics with her (for any reason at all: she wouldn't be interested in that; that would start a fight; I already know her opinion of x, etc...)
*What kind of changes are you talking about? Did you suddenly become a vegetarian? Did you change or dump a formal religion? Did you go from "someday I want to get married" to "I'm never getting married"? Sorry to be nosy, but knowing the topic might help myself and others to comment better on the situation.