I've been in a very similar situation for a long time (pretty much my entire adolescence period) I don't know how to best help you but I'll atleast give you this little story about how I dealt with it...
Background;
Bullied for about 4 years across two schools
People I considered friends bullied me both socially and physically
Something happened (don't want to go into that) which changed the entire situation.
From that point on I refused to let them controll my thoughts and emotions in any way. I decided that I was above them and I refused to hang out with them. Slowly I removed myself out of there presence, not in a nasty way but more like we grow out of eachother. It was almost magical in a way, before I used to be affraid I'd be alone if I left them. But at this point I was done, I decided that if I had to be alone than so be it.
Turned out the exact opposite happened, I made new friends easily without trouble and I never got bullied again. I now know that nobody will ever be able to do anything close to bullying me simply because it doesn't hurt me anymore.
All it takes is a change in mindset, a change of your perception. I'm NOT saying that this is your fault in any way, I am saying however that you can cope with it and change it IF YOU WISH TO. Ultimately bullies come from a place where they have no power and the only way to get power is to bully. The strange thing is that you'll never see this unless you step out of your victim frame of mind. What I did was accept them for who they where and move on since I couldn't help them. After that they reacted different to me and so did everybody else. Changing your perception and your frame is so unbelievably power, you have no idea.
An excersize I want to give you;
Ask yourself atleast 10 times each day with different actions the following;
How would a high self-esteem person perceive this?
A good example of this is;
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by RSD newsletter Have you ever been in a situation where you were talking with
somebody and you took something they said the wrong way? In
other words, you misinterpreted their meaning and got upset, only
to find out later that it was all in your head?
An example: guy 1 says to guy 2, "Wow, looks like you got the
short end of the stick on that one!'
Guy 2 has some issues and insecurities about his height, and he
responds, "What do you mean, short end? What are you saying, I'm
short? Who cares, why do you have to be such a jerk?!"
Guy 1 is left scratching his head and explaining that, no, that's
not what he meant, he was just saying blah blah blah... |
This is how I'd often react about things, even if I did not actually say it out loud. A high self esteem person would take it as a joke and laugh about it, in turn it will turn into a joke. Your perception changed reality.