Oh i cant avoid to reply, i feel so identified, and i want to help, its not like i have overcome all my problems, but hopewfully you can learn something from my unique perspective.
Since i was born up to until i was 12 years old i was very extroverted and funny with everyone, i was just a bit shy, but somehow i got to be really funny and energetic, i felt that i was the most incredible and awesome thing that ever walked on the earth, but suddenly the emotional abuse that my parents did to me started to make an effect on my personality, i changed from that to beign extremely introverted and anti-social so fast that i didnt even noticed until someone asked me why i didnt want to talk as all the other boys... this continues until now, although im working on fixing it.
From that period of my life i can get a few interesting things:
First: Confidence, i really felt that i was the greatest and most fun thing that ever walked the earth, this means that the way you look at yourself really has an effect on the things you do and say, no the other way around...
Second: Beign creative is extremelly important, you must allways be on guard to find things that are common to everybody, so that people understand you and identify with what you say. You must also be creative to be able to surprise people in a good sense, think about giving gifts to people, but this gifts come from your personality...
Third: Love, if you start looking at the best of people and forgiving the worst of them youll be able to connect with them, youll be able to talk to them easier, youll be able to trully want to make them feel good, youll also will want to confort them in a personal way.
Fourth: walk to your own song (not really sure if its the correct expresion), i mean that you must allways have a mental filter with wich you pass all things that come from outside of you, wich also means that you only listen to yourself, wich means that you stand for your own opinions, this doesnt mean that you dont listen, it just means that you really have your own personality and that you dont want to borrow other peoples personality, this is important for confidence. This doesnt mean you need to be psycotic, but negotiate between you and your surrounding, dont surrender, negotiate, filter, judge, decide what you like and what not, and simply do not accept things you dont like.
Fifth: Be brave, take fear as an injection of energy, not as a bad and paralizing thing, fear is actually a good thing, you just need to not let it control you, but use it as a tool, if you feel fear dont start thinking about it because you may be increasing fear until its un-controlable...
(Im not like this right now, but when i look back this is what i remember from those days).
I hope that you get comforted by what im about to say, youll see that there are worse people than you
I havent dated a single girl in my life, and im 24!!!!
There, see?
Now, am i ashamed?, of course not!, i may get a little unconfortable to gather attention but, you know, i trully allways did what i really wanted to do, when i was in higschool i didnt appreciate beign with people at all, i prefered to live in my own inner world, the funny thing is that, just like you, i attract girls, and when some girl approached me i knew exactly what to do to keep them away from me, be completelly boring and act awkward and like a wussy, i knew they where trying to engage me, tease me, they tested me, they wanted my attention, i though at that time that they where trying to control me, maybe because of the way my parents raised me, so, since i was so sensitive about beign controlled i made sure to keep them away from me, and you know what?, im not really that good looking, i think that this kind of attitude is what kept girl attracted to me, i mean, beign able to stand all by myself not rellying on others, beign a lone wolf, hard to get, it all sums up to beign someone comfortable with yourself, someone masculine, someone who leads himself, completelly oposite to someone who puts girls in a pedestal, oposed to someone who looks for approval, comprehension, or undersanding, i dont need understanding, i walk to my own song.
I dont want to give the idea that beign antisocial is good, it isnt!, even when i thought that at that time i was comfortable, now im not!, now i want to start having a social life, i think its because im maturing...
Anyway, on your case, i think that you put too much value on women, as if women where the source of your happyness, and its not like that, a women should have the luck to be with you, not the oposite, you need to be the leader of your own life. Put value on yourself.
Some women seduce men to use them, you know that, so be strong and own your life, you should be the one to control your own life, dont give it to a woman who doesnt care about it, maybe you think that giving your life to a woman is something romantic?, thats un-healthy, so stop doing it, if you dont you are doomed.
Im not an expert, but really, dont you think that beign submissive is a good thing?, should you be the owner of your own life?.
My case is that my mind was so hurt that i completelly shut down my social muscle, this resulted in me not beign interested in people and developing a really weak "social sense" and nervousness for social situations, this is not good, the good thing is really owning your life, if you do, you wont be looking for girlfriends for pity (dont put un-real values on women, put it on yourself), but instead you would be looking to share your life with a girl, i think this is much better.
Develop your personality, fix yourself little by little, learn about women, try to understand them, how they think, what they do, know your own sexuality by studying sexology, pc muscles, sexuality in both women and men, right know i feel you arent very aware of it (there is also so much culture pressure to get laid, its over rated), you just want to "put it", youll discover things that will probably change your mind about sex and women, youll have more control of your impulses and youll be more mature.
This links are awesome:
Fast Seduction 101: Art of Pick-up and Seduction you dont need to be a pick up artist, i try to take what they say with real care because they kind of live lives that are kind of away from reality
, but still you can learn lots about the oposite sex, youll comprehend them better.
How to have more social success | Free practical advice on social skills, getting along with people, and getting your act together This is really awesome too, it blowed my mind, its like a reflection of myself...
Ok i really hope this helped, and remember, do it, do overcome it, work towards your goals, be brave, good luck.