Quote:
Originally Posted by JimOfferman  Hey Mark,
Thanks for your great advice. I can certainly identify what the need is: I need to find my significant other, someone to share love with. At the risk of sounding terribly cliché, all my other needs are (partially or wholly) fulfilled. I have everything I want, except for someone to share everything with.
In a way, yes, I guess I'm attached to the idea of my friend fulfilling that need - I suppose my dreams and fantasies about our imagined relationship act as a surrogate for the real thing.
Which, rationally, gives me all the more reason to want to move on. Why can't I just fantasize about someone who is more available to me? 
@Akashic: some day, I might believe that I'm in complete control of everything I experience... but I'm not there yet, not by a long shot |
i think most of these problems stem from not 'being out there' if that makes sense. i think that perhaps making yourself available and making an effort to meet as many different people as is healthy will allow you to find someone else to meet the needs that your friend can't. it is easy to get hung up on your friend because there is no one else for you to have those feelings with, there is no one else because you have not met anyone else - the more people you meet the greater chance you have (god i hate cliche's... way to go there are more fish in the sea...) anyway. meet more people!
if your feelings are actually bringing you pain, maybe you need to not hang around with this friend again? or at least not until you find a romantic relationship with someone? i don't know