[AdoptedOne]

Thanks for the replies inri. Some of my early posts from last year were a bit extreme about suicide especially. It's not that I "feel" worried about this change it's more not understanding it and wondering what the hell I am going through. I went through most of my life feelings emotions, lots of ups and downs then suddenly (and I can't exactly remember when) but it was over a year ago now probably longer, while meditating I felt some energy shoot up my spine and I felt this euphoria my vision seems really clear all of a sudden when I looked outside. I was aware my mind was totally empty and free from "inner chatter". This "No mind" state has been with me ever since and I guess like you said I have achieved a "Silent Witness", "Enlightenment" state of mind. You know something weird I often find men and women, even animals staring at me people even stare at me If I look scruffy or whatever. It doesn't happen all the time of course but it's something iv'e noticed since this change happened. Perhaps they can feel my prescence or something? I have heard "Enlightened" people give off a certain prescence that others are aware of. Honestly I don't think I can go back to the way my mind was it has definately evolved I tried doing affirmations some months ago and really trying to get my mind to react I would tell myself how attractive I was and that I'm confident, but my mind had no reaction. Even If I tell myself I suck, I'm a loser etc again my mind has no reaction no emotional association with the thoughts. I guess in a way this is a gift I just need to try and give off a better energy I don't seem very approachable to people. Something else I have noticed is I feel the same when alone or with others I don't get lonely anymore, I don't feel I need to be with a partner need to have friends I am content alone or with others although before I was always quite an introverted person but I realize now loniless is all in the mind.

A person I was casually introduced to in a bar a while back knew I was "different" he said I was quiet and when I asked why he said something about me being psychic or something but it seems he could pick up on something about me.