I'm sensing that you have a lot of 'chattering' or ego-noise happening in your mind. Don't over-analyze and force an answer; the ego tells us we need to quickly find an answer to everything so as to keep face. Over-analyzing is just going in circles. You must relax and ask the higher mind and the universe to show you the truth and the solution to your questions. Then be faithful that it will come to you and it will. Don't tell 'things' what they mean: let them tell you what they mean.
As for not 'feeling' anything and disassociating with the moment: this is the feeling you want all the time. Always be in the now and eliminate any thoughts of past or present. You don't want to be feeling insecure or scared though. I'm guessing this is the ego speaking? Just ignore it and tell it to be quiet. Tune your mind away from ego and connect with your self. Pure joy will soon be on its way.
Any feelings of hate, fear, injustice, separation, scarcity, etc., are just the ego speaking to you. Choose to simply ignore the ego and it will die (it is only an illusion). Just tell it to scram and ask the higher mind for a replacement hehe.
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