Continued part 3:
5. Alert - Virus found "embarrased.parents.exe"
6. Alert - Virus found "angry creditors.exe"
7. Alert - memory low
8. Alert - disk full all installations stopped
(Now I'm taking off a bit with my weird sense of humour, but really this stuff cannot be taken too seriously either. Having been a computer programmer before becoming a therapist and a spiritual seeker all my life, I easily crack up with humor on my virtual reality view of this game of life. Sorry LOL).
Back to your situation. If you deinstall your "perfectionist" program, you will be in a much better posistion to get the rest of your system into working order. Sticking to this analogy for a little longer: In your case with Asberger we can use this analogy to say that you have installed an operating system that is a bit different from the one most uses. So the programs installed from peers and parents where not exactly compatible and written for running on your OS. This is the main reason you should not use the levels of consciousness as a tool for measuring the skills you need to aquire. You should not look at those missing skills as missing lessons from a level of consciousness, rather as lack of availabilty of compatible programs for some functions required for networking capabliltes whn you were growing up. Also when you look at personal development programs and goals, you need to take into consideration that they are written for the common OS's in order to help as many as possible. They may not be compatible with you.
What you need most to get an understanding of, is your purpose and how having asbergers is relevant to that purpose. Then set your goals according to that. They may not at all fit with where the average user of PD material is headed. So when you look at all the stuff and capabilities that PD promote as good things, they may not be so good for you. It is like you are trying to fit a square into a round whole, and when you fail in that you label yourself "self-help junkie" for not making the fit. This is your intellect seeing the good points made by the authors of the PD material without relating it to who you are and what you came here to do. I saw in another post that you consider a reading with Erin. That sounds like a very good idea as you may then be able to get information on your purpose and what gifts you have that you need to pursue. With that information you should be able to close the door on many unproductive options so choosing gets easier.
Now onto missing skills. One of the things with autism and aspbergers is that the OS is not able to run the usual programs for recognising bodylanguage representations of emotions. When these programs are not running well you are not able to respond appropriately to other people in interactions. The way we learn to label our own emotions is by mirroring other people according to what we feel ourselves and recognision of a pattern of feeling conveyed by another followed by a learning of the label of that particular feeling. Autisitic children do not have the wiring for learning by example as other children do in regards to emotions. So without special education in this they often grow up with scant knowledge on what their emotions are, and how to process them. It is easy to see the downside of that, but it also have an upside, for the high functioning ones like yourself, you are spared for having installed all the limitations that "normal" people often get installed with from emotional blackmail from parents and peers conveyed by subtle bodylanguage. Understanding the levels of consciousness may be very productive in learning to interact socially. That context is actually one of the main reasons Hawkins built that scale. He uses it for placing people and nations on the levels, and then decides what type of communication needs to be used to make oneself understood and negotiate on the level one is dealing with in other people. It is a great tool for targeting communications.That is actually what I am doing now, communicating to you as if you are at the level of reason, it seems to have worked in previous posts, does it still work? If it does, it is an argument that I placed you at the right level. I would have written this very differently to someone below the level of courage, and slightly different to someone at neutrality or willingness.
The main downside you seem to experience from aspbergers seems to be that lack of skills in regards to emotions. They can be learned. Study books on bodylanguage in order to improve your skills at interpreting emotions in others. Use you excellent mind to dive into literature on emotions that can help you understand your own. I would recommend starting with "The emotional hostage" as this book gives you both labels, desciptions and skills on handling them. Also learn EFT and practice resetting your energy system with that technique when you get overwhelmed.
Your problem with choosing is very related to the problem with emotions. In order to make good choices you need to be in tune with your emotions. Your strategy for choosing is placing to much weight on reason and not checking what feels right. In order to check what feels right, you will first need to get skills on emotions. Having the emotions stall your intellect when it is taking unproductive roads of thinking is the benefit you will get from focusing on emotional skills. So probably you should focus on the emotional skills and not try to make a choice on the various training programs I suggested in the previous post. It sounds like trying to make a choice as to what program to follow just throws you into a long debate with yourself and distracts you from doing something.
I know I haven't answered all your questions in this post. I have commented only on what struck me as the most important things from the totality of your posts. I believe you have the intelligence to figure out the rest yourself if you continue reading. And we can have more posts later, I've emptied my head of what came to mind today. On David Hawkins views on addiction, I would advice you to go directly to the source and get the video. He also have interviews and recordings at Beyondtheordinary.net - link in the free spiritual resources post that is a sticky in this forum, and on
Shift in Action | Shift In Action which is a subsciber site for $10 a month. He has numerous audioprograms on CD available, and he has written many more books worth reading.
On an endnote, I don't know if you have seen my post where I'm looking for people willing to experiment a bit for me to work out the final version of my remote services that I plan on launching sometime soon. The type of issues you have are right in my targetgroup - if you haven't already seen them and rejected it as not for you, then check it out here
Guinea pigs and feedback wanted for polishing new service