Venting a little bit here....
I'm an anxious person by nature, add tests or on the spot wordy questions and I just fall into a heap. It's performance anxiety that's the issue.
I've just come back from a job interview which I did terribly at. I find it so hard to concentrate on what the interviewee is asking, and remembering a scenario to attach the outcome with. Like..."tell us time where you resolved conflict and produced a positive outcome". I'm pathetic at anything like this, I don't have that sort of mind where I can do wordy scenarios, I'm just basically a hands-on-person and I am really good at what I do (I know and believe this...I am competent), but put me into a situation where I have to prove what I do and I collapse into heap.
This has always been my problems with interviews, and this why I always fail at them, and it's so hard...because I know I am more than capable. This is what is holding me back from ever progressing in my career.
I have been so fortunate that along the way, I have found jobs where I have they don't require me to do formal interviews, it's more that I fall into the job. Those jobs work perfectly and never had a problem, so I know I can do it.
I don't know what to do, I don't know what's my next plan of action to "beat this". Yes I have done practice runs, mock interviews, worked with a close family member that has a strong business background and interview background. But it all goes out the window when I am in the interview.
I kind of feel like I am going round and round in circles, I think probably I need to see a psychologist to help me get used to speaking engagement scenarios (role playing). I think I have huge issues with anxities, and I kind of been avoiding it, by fitting in work that hides my issues, but I don't think I can do this anymore.
Agghh just totally lost, sad, but at the same time determined to "beat this". In the past I would of spend days beating myself up, but I don't think I will be going down that route this time, sure I will have moments of "you idiot", but that's going to help me solve this issue.
Yep just a little deflated, but I will be ok
I just want to know there is hope for me to get over this, I have struggled with this all my life, and just feels like I will never "get over it", which scares the hell out of me.
The hardest thing is knowing I have such amazing potential, and yet wasting it with these uncontrollable fears.