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Originally Posted by andrew  Hey, I have this issue, it's more in social settings than others. When say I send somebody a message or ask somebody to do something or pretty much waiting for their response, I'm always thinking on how to respond if they say no. I'd think of all the things they could possibly say as an excuse and figureout what I could say in response to get the best outcome. Or to make backup plans when they say no. Carefull reading you would see that I said "when" not "if". It's like I'm already expecting them to say no. I think the reason behind this is due to me being let down so many times before with past friends and my poor social life.
Now I still feel it's good to have a backup plan, but I get to daydreaming the whole interaction and responses when they say no or whatever. I really put all this energy into it. Now I feel as this goes with the law of attraction, in where I'm putting all this energy into the negative, so that's what I'm focusing on getting. And when I catch myself doing this, I realize what I'm doing, but I just keep doing it. Like an addiction.
I know what I should be doing, I should be focusing on what's going to be fun and great when we do whatever they say 'yes' to. Focus on the positive outcome. I just find it hard to just force myself. I could be considered pesimistic in that sense, but in almost every other setting I'm very optimistic.
Ideas, suggestions? |
Andrew, this is something Salespeople and others go through and is known as 'Fear of failure'.
Brian tracy, Tom Hopkins, Zig Ziglar all talk in length about this wealth killer.
What is common to all of these gurus is that they say that 'Rejection is not Personal', it is in fact a rejection of the proposition/product/service and NOT the person.
Hopkins goes onto say that if you can work out your success ratio to your proposal ration (say 10 to 1) then learn to love a 'NO'!!!
This is because for every no you get, it means (a) your trying, and (b) your closer to a yes.
Look at this another way. Imagine a YES means €500 to you. If your Call to Sale ratio is 10-1 then Love your No's, as each one just earned you €50!
It need'nt just be sales, as
this rule can be applied to any part of your life.