Aloha, I did read your entire story. I can sympathize in a round about way. Although I am female, I was a virgin until 25. I never dated. I generally felt that I was just not the kind of girl guys liked...except I've always had plenty of guy friends who loved to hang out with me because I was more laid back/less bitchy than the girls they were dating and was just as happy at a super bowl party or camping out as shopping or going for a nice dinner (maybe moreso).
I will try to think of some more in-depth advice considering you took the time to write out the story of your life, but on first look: You are thinking too much. I know how it is. You are getting into 'analysis paralysis' (as Steve calls it). If I were to give you one piece of advice that's helped me the most, it would be just live. Go out with friends, be friendly, show genuine interest in people. I know there are lots of girls out there who would be more than happy to find a guy like you, you only need to stop beating yourself up about this.
I know it's different for guys when it comes to not having sex, but you will probably find, as I did, that it's fun learning how it works. And your partner (who I am confident you will find) will be more than happy to help you figure it all out because the practice is so fun.
Best wishes. I will write some more if I come up with anything.