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Originally Posted by lookcloser  I started my period just today, actually. And I get 'em like once every few months lol So I never bothered keeping a track. Do you think that has anything to do with it? |
Yes, absolutely. You just got your period? Your hormone levels are still wonky, lady friend. Absolutely a factor in how you've been feeling. I second the suggestion to start tracking your menstrual cycle and the changes you notice. It has done me a lot of good to do this; I feel more emotionally stable these days because of it.
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Originally Posted by lookcloser I was starting to think, this might just be the turning point of my life! I thought I'm finally starting to walk on The Path. |
Isn't that how it always is?
Not long ago, I had a bad spell of anxiety/obsessiveness that I thought I was done with forever. Like you, I was feeling pretty on top of my ♥♥♥♥♥ almost to the point of feeling invincible, like I had finally figured it all out. Then I had a really rough time for two weeks and was completely humbled by the experience.
Hate to break it to you, but you're still on The Path and always have been. There's no way you can't not be on it. I was just reading some Trungpa today and he reminds us to "Regard chaos as extremely good news." Confusion precedes clarity. Pain and pleasure are facts of life, doll, and there's no escaping it permanently. The enlightened masters do not teach us to get to a place that is pleasure all the time without any pain, they teach us to deal with things as they are. That we essentially do not possess control over much of it, but ironically once we acknowledge this, we may begin to work *with* this energy and it becomes useful instead of a hindrance.
It's never really "over." Would you want it to be? Sometimes I think I manifest chaos for myself to keep things interesting, to keep me challenged. I have no advice for what you "should do," because I know you're smart enough to figure that out yourself.
good luck and keep us posted!