[nothingyouwanttoknow]

Originally Posted by Midnite

You asked your Guardian Angel to show you how to make you a more positive person. And your Guardian Angel did exactly that.

You asked for help, but instead of some prophesy about spiritual realism, you received a more personalised message straight from the deepest and darkest pits of your very soul. In fact, what I believe you experienced is what I term as a psychological nightmare.

Unfortunately for us, traumatic experiences (as well as traumatic people) impact our lives, until we learn to drag them up, effectively deal with them and move on to become a more learned and enlightened person.

I don't know why I feel this, but it's just what I got when I thought about her. You managed to effectively create a monster from what seemed to be a girl who may have once secretly admired you. But then encountered the strength of your friendship with your best mate, and to what may of started off as innocent admiration, soon turned into all-out hostility.

Yeah... she never disliked you.



That is exactly right, you have issues.
What you need to do is face up to the fact that you are protecting your friends, to your own psychological detriment.

Q: Has this girl placed a spell on you?
A: No

Q: Is this girl sabotaging your life?
A: No

Your mind is a very powerful tool. It can effectively realise your worst nightmares and personify some of the most dark aspects of human contempt, because that is exactly what you are thinking about and ultimately manifesting in your life. You are manifesting your fears, because they are still hovering around and you are trying to force them deeper down, instead of letting them come to light and facing your demons.

And then you encountered her in your 'school' hallway. School was where it all started. And your friends were there. The very people you were trying to protect when you confronted her and accused her out loud. Tried to bring her into the limelight, expose the ensuing evil within, take care of the problem. But your friends weren't listening to you? They were ignoring your attempts to show them the 'real' monster within her.
The psychological need to be heard and respected by others is quite powerful. To the point where you were even facing your nightmare, all to try and protect the people you love.


Yes! This is the best sentence in your whole dream. She was acting like a doll. Exactly like a voodoo doll of your subconscious mind, that was moving her around and puppeteering her until she realised your darkest fears. The very words out of her mouth sounded like it was from the Devil himself. But the thing to remember is that she didn't resonate a doll until you directly confronted her, then only realising she was a moving puppet.

Solution:
You have to come to the realisation that this girl is not the puppet of evil. She is in fact the puppet of fears that you are not able to protect your friends against what you seem to think is scary. The sooner you realise that this isn't your job, the sooner you will be able to move on with your life. Your friends are more than capable of solving their own problems and protecting themselves.

In regards to the voices you have been hearing. I have one of two explanations;
Firstly that your mind is more powerful than you ever thought imagined, and is actually portraying your fears, not only within your dreams, but creating a truthfully psychological nightmare straight into reality itself.
Or, Secondly, (please excuse me if I'm wrong, I just don't know why I keep going back here...) that very deep down. If the whole scary green-eyed monster thing didn't exist. You may actually like this girl. And you may have actually wanted to hear her calling your name.

btw you are not a suicidal person. Trust me. I have been there. Stop dreaming about suicide and start dreaming about having a less dramatic social life

Actually, that whole scary green-eyed monster thing did happen. I found out later that this girl had been spoiled by her family - she's the golden girl, got all the attention and praise, especially since she has a special-child sister. She was trying to outdo everyone at everything and became frustrated when she didn't succeed or whenever she felt thwarted, entitled as she is to become the Mozart-Shakespeare-Da Vinci of the era. She's always fished around (her MO: be outwardly friendly to the people she envies or thinks can be of some use to her to make them feel at ease and tell her things she can later use to "surpass/defeat" them and be the great genius of the era she was meant to be), asking us how and where we got our ideas, who our favorite authors were, etc., which we didn't think anything of until things went sour. But it was my artist-poet friend she was really envious of because she was the one person this girl couldn't "defeat". She just...can't take the possibility that there's someone better than her. The spotlight's for her alone.

E.g., Someone from our batch (not even a friend of hers) is a great singer, and sang at the prom. Later, in the bathroom, she was harping on about how the performance and the performer sucked and gave demonstrations about how it should have been sung. And she used to do the same thing whenever she was outdone by any of my friends.

Also, during the time things began to go sour, she tried her fishing MO with me for the nth time. I was in a bad mood at the time and I didn't want to deal with another annoyance, so I told her I didn't know the answer to whatever she was asking. My artist-poet friend, who used to sit beside this girl since the seating arrangement was alphabetical, later told me that she had returned to her seat angry, saying how she hated me being closed-mouthed about my ideas and where I got them, and whatever-else it was she was fishing for that day.

She used to closely and regularly watch my artist-poet friend sketch. And, as silly and childish as it sounds, she actually had this "shared notebook-journal" for her and my artist friend - my friend was supposed to write any thought that crossed her mind, every day, on the journal. Which of course she took home with her.

College was no better - when she asked about my artist friend (I told her that she did galleries now), she got a look on her face I didn't like, which she tried hiding by smiling. (Of course she asked where the galleries were, and she got the same look when I refused to tell her.)

Once, she tried to get me to join a writer's workshop she was joining, "because she wanted to see how good I really was", in her own words.

I'm sorry I hadn't been clear about the "almost as limp as a doll" part. In the dream she didn't resist by force. Her resistance was the "I'm going to be the strong and silent type, act as the wronged but dignified victim, so the others will sympathize, respect and be in awe of me; next to me, who'll believe her now?" type.

Er, no, I don't like her. I just stay away from her as much as I can.