What I was trying to get at was that attraction isn't solvable with regular rational thinking. Using logic yes, once you see what's going on underneath.
Would any girls around in this thread answer this question. Do you spend a day analyzing a guy's qualities to see if you'll like him, and if you do just
choose to like him? Or does liking them come naturally, or in a spur of a moment?
I'm absolutely sure the majority of girls are going to say it comes naturally, it's not something they just choose. And since it's something they can't choose, they can't just choose not to. Hard breakups wouldn't be so bad if they could. Emotions overrule our own intellect, otherwise we wouldn't have addiction, road rage, gambling, times of anger, those hard breakups, and even happiness and motivation.
What does the flashy guy do to create those emotions in girls? And what does the geeky guy do to keep those emotions in girls?
The creating part is a lot different from keeping. Girls say they want a sweet, caring guy. But they seem to all go for the good looking guy who turns out to be a jerk. This aggravates geeks in love the most, I'm sure a lot will of them agree. They're sweet, caring, and loving but the girl they like just doesn't like them back anymore than a good friend and instead likes some jerk who they're always complaining to them about. Even though their friend is what they say they want, that isn't what creates the attraction which is why they're nothing more than friends.
Geeky guys in love shout out if you've heard the famous, "Aww, you're so sweet! I'm sure you'll find a girl one day." Yeah, then years pass and you find her and she says the same thing doesn't she?
There are certain qualities in a guy that girls are instinctively attracted to. Guys with confidence, indifference, dominance, social status (which can be conveyed through fashion), independence, good genes (includes looks), and others. Which I conclude with the fact that these jerks have a lot of these, if not all of them. Their personalities have these attractive qualities in them, even though they're the bad boys.
I'm sure a lot geeks would see it crazy of the things that actually cause attraction, which I won't even list because people feel so strongly against them they never believe me (How many people are actively ready to take a hard look and rewire their own morales and reasoning? Not many, look at the ongoing debate of abortion and the existence hypnosis). Which is why I've been saying you can't tackle it with rational thinking. I'm not saying that a geek needs to be a jerk to get a girl interested, for example you don't need to give a gift to be thoughtful, nor compliment someone to let them know you like something about them. I'm saying they need to weave those qualities into their personality and life, and order to do so they're going to hit barriers that block them from seeing the other side.
One examples is that they look at becoming dominant and think of abusive controlling guys. There's a difference from dominant and domineering. Or they look at indifference to be cold hearted or bland.
And I love this quote, probably what will get my point across the best:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Anne Bradstreet If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. |
Most geeks give a girl the spring first, and continue giving it. The flashy guys give a girl a tough winter first, and continue giving that. The problem is that the geeky guys don't want to give the girls that winter because of their own reasoning and morales. However you can have a pleasant winter before the spring, and that's the magic formula where I think everyone benefits in the end the most.
If they weave those in and expose themselves a bit, starting up conversation in the line-up to buy their new USB keys, talking to the girl who sits nearby him in his class, or say something when they see a girl near a Mt. Dew vending machine they're heading towards. I think they could keep on geeking it up at LAN parties and games of AD&D on weekends and still be able to date a lot of girls and find the one that meets all their wants.