Originally Posted by spacecadetglow
Yep yep. Mirrors a lot of stuff I've been realizing on my own the last couple months.
I will say that I think you're misunderstanding the point of NLP a bit, here, though. You contend that it's an incomplete method because it only gets you to focus on the bad and remove your reaction, while not providing you with any real tactics to start feeling good. This has not been my experience with NLP. What I've gotten out of my sessions with people on these forums has been exactly your realization about feeling good: that it's a choice! And that perspective alone has been enough to seriously improve my well being.
Yeah, my gripe was with any method including meditation where timeline-regression becomes the aim. I feel they cause the individual to actually become obsessive about what he or she feels is the problem, when actually a more productive approach might be to take the focus OFF the "problem", start to feel good, then go out and get some experiences and new reference points which put the problem into a healthier perspective. This ties in to my example from another post that social anxiety might well be better dealt with by joining groups such as a boxing gym, to put meeting new people into a different context, from which a new perspective emerges.
I am going off-topic a little here. I am sure NLP has some great methods for teaching us how to make ourselves feel great. Defenders of NLP, please post your resources. This post is about learning to make ourselves feel good, an aim I consider of much more importance than focusing on getting rid of things that make us feel bad. If you check out the Emotional Mastery board, the majority of posts is people (in my opinion) WHINING about X, Y or Z issue. Think of how many hours of turmoil are being spent focusing on these issues when people could instead be feeling good and getting better perspectives on reality. If something really quite traumatizing has happened and someone is looking for support, I fully support that and I think it's important for people to feel supported. But posts along the lines of "Just feel so depressed..." just really piss me off. WHAT a waste of time and energy.
Aside from that, your concept of "triggers" was particularly en pointe here. I would broaden that even more and say that all we need for a state change is a little distraction. Not even things that we know will "make us happy" (too much relying on externals), but knowing that getting up and doing something different will, without fail, at the very least help in shifting our state. That's another thing that NLP and other "wacky mumbo jumbo" do too, IMO. They introduce something zany to interrupt the pattern. I've found it to be quite effective, though admittedly not with the immediacy and instant results that are often advertised.
Exactly. I have been saying for some time that ALL these things work -- just not in the way the creators and proponents often believe.
The main means through which they operate is DISTRACTION and STATE CHANGE, which provides an excuse and momentum for maintaining the new state. So you can give someone a placebo and tell them it's a drug and they'll start to get high. What happened? They already have the body-knowledge to feel good. We all do. They just got given an excuse to activate it.
So this post is simply about understanding this in-built body-knowledge we all have of how to feel good at will, understanding that until now you have likely needed EXCUSES to allow yourself to experience it, and with this understanding, decide you no longer need an excuse, and can feel good whenever you like -- NO STRINGS ATTACHED.