Yep yep. Mirrors a lot of stuff I've been realizing on my own the last couple months.
I will say that I think you're misunderstanding the point of NLP a bit, here, though. You contend that it's an incomplete method because it only gets you to focus on the bad and remove your reaction, while not providing you with any real tactics to start feeling good. This has not been my experience with NLP. What I've gotten out of my sessions with people on these forums has been exactly your realization about feeling good: that it's a choice! And that perspective alone has been enough to seriously improve my well being.
Aside from that, your concept of "triggers" was particularly en pointe here. I would broaden that even more and say that all we need for a state change is a little distraction. Not even things that we know will "make us happy" (too much relying on externals), but knowing that getting up and doing something different will, without fail, at the very least help in shifting our state. That's another thing that NLP and other "wacky mumbo jumbo" do too, IMO. They introduce something zany to interrupt the pattern. I've found it to be quite effective, though admittedly not with the immediacy and instant results that are often advertised.
Anyway, good stuff, friend.