[bluestar]

This does sound rather like a "Soul Loss" experience (where parts of the Soul flee in order to escape the pain when a traumatic event happens in life) Many people get this, some less -some more- than others. But Shamanic Healing could help a lot. You could contact an organisation called shamanism.org (online) to see if there is anyone at all near where you live who is registered and able to practice Soul Retrieval. Otherwise -do check this out. There may even be someone in another country who could help you at a distance.
The soul does not care about international boundaries....it is in an alternate level. Someone maybe could help you.

Remember -nothing is lost forever. Your Immortal Soul is yours and if you have lost connection temporarily, it doesn't mean it's forever! Work can be done to bring back what you wish to be.