Originally Posted by Maguru
Hello David, I'm sorry to hear you are still going through this. In my experience with trauma, it changes who you are. You are never the same and cannot go back. The struggle is in not accepting this transformation. The new self can never be the old self, but the good news is that you can be a new self over and over again. Warmest wishes to you, Paula
Yes it changes you for sure, but that is not what's bothering me.
The true problem is that I no longer have a Self , nor I have my higher Self.
All conections were and are cut. I am like "watcher" of my life. I live beyond my own stories but thats all. I don't feel SINGLE thing inside of me. I can not think or remember. Its not that I would want to do so badly, but due to this I am loosing my relationships with people.
My inner energy is fading away or to say, it already has faded..
I can not love anybody
Nor I can love myself.
I also gone back on weed, but I allready recognized again that this is way way worser thing for me, now in this state than ever. So I quit it again. I am without pot for 6 days now.
But I have side sense that everything is gonna be allright, so I wont doubt it anymore. I also decieded today not to think about anything about me from this day on.
I wish you Love Paula, Thank you for "watching over me" :P
Best wishes, HUG