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Originally Posted by DQueens  i always end up smoking now and then with friends and everytime i do, i regret it because it makes me feel disconnected, depressed and lonely. i felt this way in september one night when i got high. i felt that i could see my friends for waht they truely were, and my life for what it was, and i didnt like it. i thought i was just thinking crazy until the next day and following weeks where the feelings werent going away. life seemed so meaningless, i didnt know what i wanted from it anymroe, and i didnt like my life as it was. however, the feeling was not quite as strong nad persistant as when i was high. i feel that getting high raises your awareness at an even quicker pace than personal growth, that's what it felt like to me. it was like a rush of coming into realization about life, and the fact that it was such a large amount of realization and awareness in a short time is probably what depressed me. I think that i should get high again, to get some more answers about my state of awareness, but i'm scared because the last time was a pretty unpleasant experience for me. however, now i kind of know what i want in life and what truely matters to me. perhaps another burst of consciouness will benefit me? |
This raise of awareness happens to me all the time. That's the only reason for me to smoke weed. If i'm not satisfied with something in my life and i suppress it, it shows up when i'm high. When i'm happy and enjoying life then this feeling is great. So i can know myself better with this.
If you live in America you have cannabis with much bigger level of THC than home grown European weed. I've never experienced some halucinations, losing senses or something like that. Also i have no desire to smoke it more than few times in 50-60 days