Originally Posted by Illustro Cado
I wonder... I don't think it's accurate to say what I've done before no longer works. It's more on the mark to say I'm expanding and building off of it. My intellect doesn't shut down when I rely on intuition, in fact it's supercharged; I'm still thinking through things but on a much higher level.
I also feel like I've willingly constrained myself. What I was doing would allow me to accomplish what I want. It wouldn't be efficient, it wouldn't be pretty, but it would get me there. However, I would grow very little were I to proceed, so on a deeply unconscious level I've decided to tie one hand behind my back and I'm not allowed to use it except when I've come into my own.
That, perhaps, is the most significant element in my mind-I am doing this to myself, for myself, for reasons I only partially comprehend.
^^ This. Again.
We Darks seem to be handling the energy shifts a bit differently from how the Lights are handling them. Fascinating to see.
It's funny to experience myself *learning* discipline and restraint at exactly the time when everyone else seems to be enjoying their newfound liberation. I'm pulling down tremendous sexual energy but it seems to be getting channeled. I have to admit being a little envious at times when I see my Lightworker friends out on dates (they all seem to be generating tremendous fun, social energy!) but at the same time, I'm just on a different path, I realize.