Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

Shamou · 06-23-2007, 01:21 AM

Before the computer:

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account

A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3-1/2 inch floppy ....
... you just hoped nobody ever found out!

---------------------------------------------------------

New Lyrics to Beatles Song - "Yesterday"

Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be.
And there's a milestone hanging over me.
The system crashed, so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong,
What it was, I could not say.
Now all my data's gone,
And I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday,
the need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

---------------------------------------------------------

Bill Gates And God
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker. The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, tell what is important about yourself.
Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important.

God looked to Al and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand". God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most.

Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important.

God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand". God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly.

God asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?"

Bill responded " I think you are sitting in my chair".

---------------------------------------------------------

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.

"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."

"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."

.

06-23-2007, 01:21 AM	#205 (permalink)
Shamou Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada Posts: 3,811	Before the computer: Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano A web was a spider's home A virus was the flu A CD was a bank account A hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was where a mouse lived And if you had a 3-1/2 inch floppy .... ... you just hoped nobody ever found out! --------------------------------------------------------- New Lyrics to Beatles Song - "Yesterday" Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay. Now my database has gone away. Oh I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, There's not half the files there used to be. And there's a milestone hanging over me. The system crashed, so suddenly. I pushed something wrong, What it was, I could not say. Now all my data's gone, And I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay. Yesterday, the need for back-ups seemed so far away. I knew my data was all here to stay, Now I believe in yesterday. --------------------------------------------------------- Bill Gates And God Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker. The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, tell what is important about yourself. Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important. God looked to Al and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand". God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most. Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important. God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand". God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly. God asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?" Bill responded " I think you are sitting in my chair". --------------------------------------------------------- After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck." "Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry." .