[chas]

I was stumped by the situation I found myself in this evening. The last time I encountered a bully was twenty odd years ago at school.

The years came flooding back, changing in the gym this evening, a thug said to me, while pointing two fingers towards his eyes, using the sign language to back up what he was about to say, which was "what are you looking round for, are you gay? I replied that I was bisexual. Then I posed the question to him and I qualified it, with the fact that he was also looking round. The answer from this yob was " No ************ing way am I gay". Without any further breath for fresh air, he then went on to say "you better not be looking at me" .

At that point I was not going to antagonise him further and get embroiled in something that I might later regret. Besides I was now lost for words and not seeing an outcome, I just did not respond. I could visualise him and his alliances waiting for me outside the gym and I did not know what I would be taking on.

The question to you is, did I give in to the bully on the 'play ground'? And was it any of his business where I was looking, even if it did include him? He seemed to be doing as much looking around the place, so is it just a case of whats good for the goose is not good for the gander. Well then, am I the gander, which i should just accept. The frustration of not dealing with this conflict and having the last word, was probably because i did not want to be the 'bloodied playground warrior' and that I did not know how to proceed in this conflict situation. I also ask myself why I am always the loser. If I was looking at him, well then I ask myself, did he have the right to deal with the threat he was facing, in which case he was not the bully. I have so many unanswered questions and being a little compulsive over something like this, it goes through my mind incessently, with my head turning like a tumble dryer on high spin.

I suppose if I felt that I had won this battle, it would have all sunk away as fast as it happened.

Your thoughts on the above would be interesting.

Thanks
Charlie