[Casper]

They say that one of the critical factors in making friends is the act of mutual disclosure, whereby people gradually share more and more about themselves to each other, and the search for common ground upon which new relationships may flourish.

Hold that thought, and picture the following person: Age 25, West Coat metropolitan city, bi-lingual, graduate degree from a "prestigious" university, debt-free, reliable job with a salary of $150,000+ annually, fashion model on the side, athletic, musically talented (three instruments), artistically talented.

What is your instinctual impression of this person? Do you like him/her? Is it within the realm of possibility that you could become good friends with this person? Would it make any difference if you had known less about them?

Hold that thought, as I add more. This person is also known as what some refer to as "progressive" - the idea that they continually enjoy unprecedented success, whether occupationally, or in their personal goals, achievements, or hobbies. Ambition is the precursor to being "progressive."

Now, does this change your impression of the person? Is your impression more favorable, less favorable, or the same?

I'm not going to claim that the description of said person describes me to a tee, but I will say that, objectively speaking, most people, upon full disclosure, would place me in the same category as said person. It's also an accurate self-image. And, the idea of being "progressive", to me, is basically my life story - fulfilling my potential as a human being. This, and the fact that for most of life, I've felt that I have untapped potential and talents that I never knew I had.

I'm not here to solicit praise or pity. I'm here, because for my entire post-adolescent life, I have made friends and lost friends, as I have accomplished more and more. As I have become a more confident and fulfilled individual, it has become more and more difficult to connect with people my age. Just about all of my high school friendships have evolved to mere charades, the result of what I sense time and time again, jealousy from my former close friends.

What do I seek in a friend? I'm not even sure anymore. I am drawn to unique people; people with character; and most importantly, people that inspire me, who have facets to their personalities that set an example of how I would like a part of myself to be. Yet, so feel people that I have met fit this description. And I can honestly say that I have never met a person whom I wish I could trade places with.

It has gotten to the point where, upon meeting new people, I feel obligated to conceal parts of myself, revealing only enough such that I am perceived as imprudent. Indications of wealth or status, I've found, are especially damaging; merely noting in passing where I live, a favorite restaurant, a past experience - anything that is a clear indicator of wealth - when their is a clear disparity is off-putting.

The seemingly simple solution would be to associate with people with wealth. However, to me, wealth in and of itself does not attract me. While many people associate wealth with status, I equate wealth with the opportunities that it provides to make myself a better person. What I value most in people is a consistent and strong sense integrity, ethics, value system, and compassion. Unfortunately, people rarely befriend each other along these lines, let alone meet in a common forum, since it seems that most social circles today are defined by wealth and status.

I could go on an on, but I just wanted to solicit some serious responses on the matter. I invite criticism as well, as long as it is respectful. I won't be surprised to see my post flamed, but for the record, I certainly don't intend to hold myself out as some type of exemplar of a human being; based on some other threads I've read on here, there are certainly many posters on this board who are more talented and gifted than myself. I'm just another poster hoping to de-construct the problem of having an unsatisfactory social life.